home home

“It’s a Wonderful Query”

November 4th, 2009 by Sara

Since last week’s blog on synopses, I’ve been busy talking with other writers about what really hooks a reader. So I guess it’s time to talk about the synopsis’ hot older sister…

The query.

She’s sexy and alluring and you wish you could get to know her a little better.

And unlike the synopsis, you don’t have to show your whole hand. Whether you want to think of it as a movie trailer or batting your literary eyelashes, what you need is a few killer lines that are going to leave them wanting more.Evil genius personal ad

Or maybe it’s more like writing a personal ad. In it, you show the best possible version of you. Someone that sounds like a person you’d want to meet. But remember, if you are successful, there’s going to be a first date. And there’s no way you can make yourself (or your book) 5′6, with raven hair and silver eyes, if you’re not that already.

So, how do you do this? How do you balance information with allure? How do you sound exciting, but true to your book? As other writers and I puzzled this out, here are a few essentials that came up again and again.

-Play to your strengths.

If your book is funny, make us laugh. If your writing is lyrical, sweep the reader up in your language. If its got fighting lemurs and ninjas and pirates, make us want to pull out our throwing stars. I know this seems obvious, but when you sit down to the daunting task of boiling your novel down into a couple paragraphs or a 30 second pitch, it’s so easy to forget. Plus it’s hard.

-Use active, specific language. Shorter sentences and present tense can also give your words immediacy.

As we try to sum up our beloved books, we often unintentionally distance ourselves. We write “Little Red Riding Hood walked to Grandmother’s house.”

Instead of…”Little Red Riding Hood strides into the dark woods, unaware that each step takes her closer to peril.”

For a few extra (and, I concede, cheesy) words, I’ve bought emotional impact and characterization.

-Just like in the opening lines of a book, in queries it’s important to immediately show what your main Paul Zelinsky's beautiful Rapunzelcharacter wants.

“Everyday, Rapunzel gazes out over the sea of trees, wishing she could walk beneath their emerald branches.”

-Lure your readers in and keep them wanting more.

Remember, you’re painting a picture, and you want it to convey a character in a specific pose, a mood, a setting. Keep your sentences relatively simple, free of complex punctuation. For the sake of clarity and emphasis, avoid names of secondary characters if you can help it. Likewise, avoid terms that are specific to your book and require explanation. You only have a few precious lines to draw the audience into your world, and you don’t want anything to break the spell.

As important as it is to give your readers enough to tempt them, it’s just as important to know when to stop. You can choose the climatic moment that plunges your character into the conflict of the story. Or you can go a little farther, alluding to the way the character might get out of their conundrum. But unlike a synopsis, in a query you don’t want to give away too many answers.

“After years of living far from the Castle, Sleeping Beauty is overwhelmed by boisterous crowds and the thunder of fireworks. She flees her birthday festivities, only to find something more disturbing waiting for her behind a closed door.”

Delicious Chocolates from Jin PatisserieIf you can make your reader or listener really feel the plight of your character and make them wonder what’s behind that door, then you’ve done it. And a request for your manuscript will not be far behind.

So, let’s dust off last week’s metaphor, mostly cause it’s almost lunchtime and I’m getting hungry. If a synopsis is a recipe for a chocolate souffle, then a query is a free sample at the chocolate shop. Tiny, delicious, and there to convince you to buy the whole box. Omnomnom!

Posted in Hooks, Synopsis, Writing

Julie Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 3:48 pm

I love this.Makes me admire fiction writers even more than I already do.
And writing for children/teens it is so important to grab their interest quickly before something else distracts them.I will read synopses and queries with greater attention from now on, knowing how difficult they are to write.

Peggy Abrahams Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Well put – not only do you capture Rapunzel’s plight – but also the plight of poor struggling writers seeking just the right words to propel them out of the lonely confines of obscurity. I’m tweeting your post on Twitter…

Sara Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 10:33 pm

Thanks! I love that writing a blog post is a great way to clarify your thoughts about something. Hopefully it’ll inspire irresistible queries for us all! Tweet, tweet to the Twitterverse!

Edith Says:
November 9th, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Queries and chocolate, yum! We’ll definitely need some after banging our heads on the wall trying to write that ever so difficult query!

Lee Wind Says:
November 11th, 2009 at 7:48 pm

The Evil Genius Help Wanted Ad is… Genius.
Lovely post, Thanks!

Leave a Comment »


How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Synopsis

October 28th, 2009 by Sara

A while back, I had to write a synopsis for a book I was working on. Ugggg.

I’d written synopses for that story before and most of them sounded as if they should be narrated by this guy.

Which is dramatic and all, but maybe not exactly what I was going for. I mean my synopses certainly got your attention, they didn’t necessarily describe my book very well.

It took me a while to realize what the problem was. Turns out, in the early drafts, I didn’t really know what my book was about. Sometimes our stories are so big in our minds, that we wander through the world, entertaining ourselves and our readers, but forgetting where we are going. And it’s not until you try to write the synopsis that you realize you’ve lost your way.

Because a synopsis forces you to cut through all the action and mystery and distill it down to exactly what your book is about. Not what happens, but what it’s about.

For example, what happens in Winnie the Pooh is that a bear and his friends survive a flood, throw a birthday party, and search for things (heffalumps, tails, friends, homes.) But what the book is about is learning how to be brave. How to be a friend. How to grow up.

Turns out that a synopsis is just another tool in the writer’s toolbox. It can not only show us if our story has stayed on point, it can direct us if we lose our way. By forcing us to distill our story down, we can look at exactly what our characters are struggling with and if we’ve stayed true to that struggle. We can see if all the pieces of the book are exploring the same questions and leading us towards the same conclusions. Most importantly, we can remember why we wrote the story in the first place.

10-28-09 souffle

A synopsis is like a recipe for a delicate, rich, chocolate souffle. Everything in it should be essential and with it you should be able to build something greater and more delicious that the sum of its parts. It should give enough details that you can already taste the cocoa, imagine the texture, and almost smell it baking in the oven. In other words, a good synopsis should make your mouth water.

Bon Appetit!

Posted in Synopsis, Writing

tony Says:
October 29th, 2009 at 10:42 am

Well dang, now I want a chocolate souffle. To be honest, I didn’t quite know what you were talking about until you gave the example about Winnie the Pooh. Now I get it, and it makes a hell of a lot of sense. Sounds like a good tool to have on the Bat Utility Belt of Authorship (don’t forget your Uniform of Protection from Critics and your Cowl of Self-Confidence so that you can catch the Bad Guys of Doubt before they launch the Trap of Writer’s Block; and throw them in the Jail of Victory) … I, uh, think I’ll just stop there.

Sara Says:
October 29th, 2009 at 10:47 am

Clearly I should’ve let you write the post. Now I HAVE to make a Bat Utility Belt of Authorship!

Monique Ruiz Says:
October 29th, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Ha ha about the trailer narrator! :o)
Why is it that every time I write a new synopsis, I think I’ve struck gold… only to find that with time that it still needs work?
Arrgghh!!!

Edith Cohn Says:
October 29th, 2009 at 3:33 pm

When you’re writing your synopsis do your scratch your head like Pooh? Think think, think think. I often do…oooh how it helps an old bear think.

Sara Says:
October 29th, 2009 at 4:08 pm

“Now by this time Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too, and finding the front door full, he went out by the back door, and came round to Pooh, and looked at him.
“Hallo, are you stuck?” he asked.
“N-no.” said Pooh carelessly. “Just resting and thinking and humming to myself.”
-A.A. Milne from “Where Pooh Goes Visiting and Gets Into a Tight Place”

Lee Wind Says:
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:25 am

Sara,
I love how this post and it’s comments is like a great dinner party conversation.
once again you’re so full of wisdom. The trailer totally had me LMAO, and um, when Tony’s making you up one of those gadgety Bat Utility Belts of Authorship, I’d love to get me one of those Cowls of Self-Confidence – I wear a size XL, please!
Now back to writing MY synopsis. *scratching head* think think, think think.
Namaste,
Lee

Suzanne Casamento Says:
November 4th, 2009 at 5:52 pm

That chocolate is definitely making my mouth water. Plus, you’re right, the synopsis is a great writer’s tool.

Leave a Comment »


© 1999-2007 Sara Wilson Etienne
rss link
home stories links about archive contact